How to Deal With People Who Ignore You

It's easy to feel hurt when someone ignores you, but one important thing to remember is that there is usually a bigger picture you aren't seeing. If you're being ignored and feel hurt, try talking to the person and figuring out what's wrong.

Practice empathy. Feeling ignored is frustrating, and it’s easy to assume the worst. Don’t jump to the conclusion that the other person is being malicious or intentionally giving you the cold shoulder, however. Consider alternative reasons why they might be ignoring you.

• For example, they might just be distracted by something going on in their life, like problems at home or at work.

Reflect on your recent actions. This can be a challenge. People often don't want to admit they did something wrong, or even notice that they've done something to offend someone.

• Plan for an apology if you realize you've done something wrong. Even if this person should have given you some type of courtesy, it is always better to take the high road.
• Practice different meditating techniques if it is hard for you to reflect.
• If you’re having trouble viewing the situation objectively, try asking someone else who knows what’s going on and can give you an outside perspective.

 
Invite them to talk privately. Sometimes the best way to get to the root of the issue is to sit down with the other person and clear the air. Send them an email or a letter asking if you can get together to chat in private at a particular time and place.

• Meeting in private will allow you to work out any problems between you (if there are any) without the embarrassment of a public confrontation.

Be nice. If they see you making an effort, they may speak to you again. Acting rudely towards them will only create a larger, convoluted feud.

Pick a time to talk. Plan on a time when you know that both of you are free. If you pick an inopportune time, they could get more frustrated.


Ask them why they’re ignoring you. Sometimes people don't even realize they are ignoring someone. Life can get overwhelming. Being upfront and direct to this person should give you some information. Don't be overly rude when confronting them.

1. Explain your feelings. This could be hard for you, but to open yourself up to this person could solve everything. Exposing your feelings is a vulnerable process and could potentially hurt you. Reveal yourself, but don't tell them everything.

   • Use “I” statements to explain how you feel. This will allow you to express yourself without accusing or blaming the other person and putting them on the defensive. For example, say, “I feel sad and frustrated when you don’t answer me when I say ‘hi.’”

   Don't push the topic. Some people just need time away from you. It can be helpful to avoid an argument and instead have a relaxed conversation.
   
   Use a third party, if necessary. Sometimes you just can't get through to the person ignoring you. In some situations, it helps to have an outside party help resolve the issue. Choose a person who is friends with both of you, but stays neutral. You could also use a friendly acquaintance to help settle things if they are willing.